Sacrifice, or SACRIFICE?

In my mind, there are two different kinds of sacrifice. (Well, three if you count the kind where you sacrifice an animal to a diety, but come on. I think we're pretty safe to say that's not the kind of sacrifice we're talking about in relation to writing, right? ...Right?! Oh, and, dictionary.com lists twelve different definitions for "sacrifice," but in the Dictionary According to Peggy, there are only two.)

First, the definition I don't love so much:
Sacrifice: To dispose of something, regardless of value.

Now, the definition I really love:
SACRIFICE: To surrender something of value for something of even greater value.

P.S. I don't recommend pressing "Illegal Software."

So I guess it all comes down to this: We, as writers, sacrifice a lot. But when we sit down to write, it's seriously easy to get... distracted. Especially if we're at a really tough spot! When things are hard, it's so easy to think of something online we need to "check." Or we think that if we just spent a little time [fill in the blank], we could be more focused.

If we let ourselves get distracted, though, then we're only giving up something of value. We're doing the not-love-so-much definition. If we're going to be brave enough to sacrifice so much, we want the really-love definition! We want to get something of greater value from our sacrifice!

And yes, my friends. That takes planning.

And preparation.
And some focus.
And okay, not being lazy.
But definitely a plan.
A how-to-not-get-distracted plan.

Hmmm... Anyone have a great plan?
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I've Got a Theory: Sacrificing Requires Bravery

Continuing on that bravery theme from yesterday... I have a theory about it. Here goes:

We have to be brave enough to sacrifice to reach our goals.

Wait... what? I'm pretty sure it doesn't take a whole lot of bravery to skip watching Bones or to not play a game of Bejeweled!

Except that's not really all there is to it. Yes, as writers we sacrifice a LOT of things. But we're not just sacrificing tv and games and time spent not thinking about our next scene and sleep. With every minute we spend on writing and learning about writing, we sacrifice the same amount of time we could spend on learning and practicing something else. There's some other talent out there that we are choosing NOT to develop by choosing to develop our writing talent.

That's pretty huge! It takes sheer bravery to say that we believe in our talent and raw determination enough to spend all the countless hours we spend on this. To say that it will someday pay off. To say  that every bit of the journey made it all worthwhile, regardless of outcome.

By choosing one door, we are in reality NOT choosing the other door. Maybe not forever. But there are only so many hours in a day. (DARN IT!) Until we either figure out how to stop time, or live without sleep, choosing which talents to develop is the reality.

I don't know about you, but I'm kinda okay with that. I like the door I've chosen. This writing thing is HARD. But it's also SO WORTH IT.
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The Bravery of a Writer

Let's face it. It takes guts to be a writer. A serious kind of bravery in a multitude of areas. It's like there's a lot of stones we need to step on to get to where we are going, and even if there are a lot you are perfectly comfortable with stepping on, the massive scope of things means that NO ONE will be comfortable on all the steps. Heck, you might have to summon bravery you never knew you could on every single one of the steps.

Deciding to write a book is NOT one of the scary steps. Just like basket weaving or riding a bike or bowling-- you can decide you want to learn to do something with very little risk. After all, people try new things ALL THE TIME. No one expects anything from you. It's easy. And fun. The scary stuff that takes real bravery comes later.

The first scary moment might be when you decide you want to be published, because along with that decision you have to accept all that comes with it. And there is a LOT that comes with it.

Eventually, you have to tell others that you are a writer. They might think that's the coolest thing ever and wished they had the guts to do what you're doing. Or they might scoff, think you're crazy, stupid, or a dreamer.

Sometimes the hardest part is having the bravery to jump into a really huge storyline. One that feels so much huger than you, you aren't sure you can tackle it.

Or the scariest part can be when you realize all you are going to have to sacrifice to meet your goals.

Or handing your work over to critique partners that might hate your work. They might tear it apart.

Jumping into the blogging world, where strangers read what you write can be require tons of bravery. At least with critique partners, you chose who to have read it. With blogging, you lose all that control!

Then there's getting published. Even if it's not your goal, possibly every writer dreams of writing the book that goes to auction and earns a massive advance, right? Along with that advance comes so much pressure to step things up and market and promote. And the more eyes that are on your book, the more naysayers there will be.

Then, after you get a book deal, there's conferences! And school visits! And all sorts of public speaking opportunities. Maybe getting up in front of a crowd is the thing that scares you the most.

And then, if all that weren't enough, there comes the pressure to make your next book EVEN BETTER than any you've written before.

It's a dang good thing we're a brave lot, isn't it? I mean, the stuff we do could bring mere mortals to their knees! Okay, I'll admit. Quite often it brings us to our knees. Sometimes it even knocks us all the way to the ground.

But then we get back up again and jump on that stone until we can stay there without falling off.

Because we're brave like that.

Out of either morbid curiosity or the need to commiserate, I'm curious. Which stepping stone is the one that requires the most bravery on your part? 
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Quotes and Cookies: Waiter or Writer?

“If you wait for inspiration, you're not a writer, but a waiter.”
~Anonymous

Lately it feels like I’ve set up my tent and pounded in the stakes in Waiter’s Camp. I’ve been hanging out, sitting in my camp chair, looking longingly across the lake at the Writer’s Camp. Sure, I’ve been revising and blog building, but still. It's nothing like what goes on over there in Writer's Camp!

Even from this far back, I can see that they are having SO MUCH FUN. I remember living there myself and having SO MUCH FUN. I remember the excitement and the drive that makes you want to eek out every second of writing time possible. I remember the thrill of creating something that didn't exist before. I remember being so in love with what was happening in my story that I couldn't stop thinking about it.

I miss it there.

That’s it. I am pulling up stakes and moving back to Writer's Camp. Who’s with me? And who's already there?

I'll bring the cookies.

stonybrookcookie.com

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Early Warning

My parents made us go to bed WAY too early.

Not that I blame them. There were six of us, and the brother just older than me and the one just younger than me were certifiable geniuses / mischievous / full of ideas and energy. I can’t think of many more exhausting-to-parent combinations.

Or one more interesting and fun! Because lemme tell you– my childhood was nothing if not interesting and fun.

So my parents sent us all to bed on weeknights at 8:00. Of course we couldn’t go to SLEEP then. We snuck outside in the snow barefooted to dance in the light of the dining room light where my parents sat working on their own projects, unable to see us through the mirror the window became. Or we snuck into each other’s rooms and created gadgets, or painted things, or played games. All in silence so we wouldn’t get caught. I mean we were GOOD.

But my parents would randomly check on us. When I was in fourth grade and my brother was in sixth, he created an “Early Warning System.” He ran electrical wire along the ceiling the full length of the long hall that lead to all of our rooms, and wired two lights above each of our doors, one red and one green. My brother’s room was right next to the stairs, so he was the first to know if my parents were coming. He'd flip the switch that changed the lights from green to red, and we’d all scramble to our own rooms and fake asleep. (We were good at that, too.) Sometimes he’d hear a creak at the top of the stairs and switch the lights to red and we’d scramble, but it turned out to be nothing— my parents weren’t actually coming. Most of the time, though, there weren’t false alarms.

As writers, we have our own early warning system! We usually call them critique groups or critique partners. When there are things that are going to get us in trouble, they’re the ones who are going to warn us. Sure, there can be false alarms! Especially if we submit to them chapter by chapter, with very much time in between submitting. But for the most part, a great group / partners will let us know that if we continue doing what we’re doing, it’s going to land us into trouble before the end.

My critique group? I consider them lifesavers. There are lots of ways groups can work. We submit a chapter a week and meet together, because that’s what works for us. There are so many times their comments on one chapter tell me I need to tweak the next chapter before I even send it to them.

I think critique groups are invaluable. Irreplaceable. Worth their weight in gold.

How do you feel about critiques? Do you welcome them? Fear them? Have a great group or partners? Wish you had different partners? But more importantly, how do you feel about mischievous geniuses?
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On time, early, or just plain late

There are people who query too soon and there are people that query too late. Let’s face it: both are bad. It’s all about querying at exactly the right time.

For some people, the excitement of the project gets them querying too soon. And how fun is it to rein in that excitement? Psht. Not nearly as fun as letting it roam free!

Others (*cough*ME*cough*) want to be completely prepared before querying. When you make a goal to constantly learn and improve your craft, it kind of also means that you can constantly do another round of revisions and apply what you’ve learned. If YOU are always getting better, you can always make YOUR BOOK better. Same goes with the query and the synopsis. Plus there’s platform. Agents like platform. Maybe you should spend more time on that...

So there’s this little dude on one shoulder. He says, “You don’t want to waste that ONE CHANCE you get to query an agent! What if the agent most perfect for you— the one who would totally get your book and be able to get it into the hands of the perfect editor— passes because even though it was SO CLOSE, it wasn’t all the way there?”

And you say, “I know, right?”

Then the dude on the other shoulder says, “Come on already! What are you waiting for? The stars to align? All the fear of not being 100% ready to just disappear? Someone to kick you in the hind end? YOU have to kick you in the hind end!”

You sigh and say, “I know, right?”

Have you ever felt that way? Where do you stand— haven’t queried yet, queried early, queried late, or queried right on time?

Got any fears? Gems of wisdom? Please share!
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I’ve Got a Theory: What We Call Ourselves

I work at my kids’ school. When I first started a few years ago, I chatted with the principal about writing, and she told me about a couple teachers who also wrote. I already knew about one, but not the other. And she had even been my son’s teacher! I walked into the hall, saw her ahead, and raced up to her.

“Hey, I heard you’re a writer!” I said.

Had she a mouth full of soda, I’d have been wearing it. Since she didn’t, she mostly just choked on her own saliva.

“What?!” she spurted. “No! I mean, I like to write, but I’m not a writer.”

And that’s when I came up with my theory about the hierarchy of how we refer to ourselves.

Level 1: I like to write. This is where you discover that you really do like to create stories! For some people, it happens in kindergarten and never goes away. For others (like me), it might happen somewhere around the time your youngest child starts kindergarten. For others, it might happen when you have a grandkid start kindergarten. (There must be something magical about kindergarten....) This is the stage where you tell yourself and possibly the people close to you that you like to write, but you aren’t about to go around wearing your “I like to write!” pin.

Level 2: I am a writer. You reach this stage the moment you decide you want to take this hobby of yours to a professional level. The moment you decide you want to be published. Whether you announce it to the world, or you haven’t even brought yourself to utter the words to your significant other, you’ve decided you are a writer. Kinda like a job title. Or a Part-of-Who-I-Am title.

Level 3: I am an author. You reach this stage when you get your first book deal or when you self-publish. It’s the stage where you can say, I like to write, I am a writer, and I get paid for it.

(There’s lots of other levels, of course. Things like Best Selling Author, Author of over [insert number here] books, Author with a rabidly loyal fan base, Author with a loyal publisher, Author with over [insert number here] copies in print, New York Times Best Selling Author, New York Times #1 Best Selling Author. Author who can keep up with the laundry. Author with the most wickedly cool hair.)

So what about you? Which level are you on? Are you fine staying right where you’re at, or are you shooting for the next level up?
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When Insanity Works

I once heard insanity defined as this:

Insanity is when you do the same thing over and over, and expect different results each time.

Which, if you think about it, is a pretty good definition. Most people would agree if you put a piece of bread in a toaster set to 5 and it burned it, you’d get exactly the same results if you put another piece of bread in a toaster set to 5, right? To expect that it wouldn’t burn the second time (or the third or fourth or twentieth) would be.... well, insane.

Based on this, I have come to an undeniable conclusion:


Writers Are Insane.

Now come on. That doesn’t really surprise you, right? I’m sure we’ve all thought “What am I, insane?” more than once. After all, we beg voices in our heads to talk with us! And then we act like they're real people! And then we torture them!

But face it. When it comes to querying, THAT’S when we really fit the definition of insane.

We research yet another agent, decide this agent is our PERFECT MATCH, and send out a query. We fully expect them to read it, email back within minutes saying they can’t live another second without seeing pages, that they must have the full to find out what happens next before they die, and that they must be our agent.

And when we get a no to our query or our pages or our manuscript, we start all over again. We research again, find the agent that is THE PERFECT MATCH...  and once again, we expect different results.
 

Insane, right?

Except it’s not. In fact, as writers we don’t even refer to it as insanity, we refer to it as PERSISTENCE.

And that little thing that makes us believe that THIS TIME it’ll be different? That’s called hope. Ironically, it’s also what keeps us SANE.

So anyone outside of the writing world? Go ahead and call us insane! We just happen to be masters at internal editing, and we’ll automatically replace the word with persistent. Because we’re cool like that.
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Quotes and Cookies: The small thing

We went [scratch, scratch] camping on a family reunion [scratch, scratch] last weekend, and lemme tell you, [scratch, scratch] this quote made me laugh loudly.

“If you think that something small cannot make a difference, try going to sleep with a mosquito in the room.”
~Anonymous

Of course there is so much more to the quote than the constant itch of bites that cover every single part of your legs.

The “small thing” the quote referred to can be the details in your story that make it feel like the world and the people actually exist.

It can refer to the small choices your characters make that propel them toward the main conflict.

It can refer to things like sentence structure and grammar that help draw people into your story.

It can refer to the small things you learn along the way that help you perfect your craft to the point that you are publishable or more widely read.

It can refer to the small amounts of time you come across that don’t seem like much, but over time can mean you finish that novel. You finish those revisions. You write that query. You finish researching agents.

It can refer to the things you tell yourself daily that convince you that you can do this. You can work hard, sacrifice, make time, constantly learn, make it work. You want this. You can fight for this.

You will fight for this.

Those small things, added together, mean that WE CAN DO THIS! So grab a cookie, and let’s get going!!

http://www.myrecipes.com/recipe/mississippi-mud-cookies-10000001646479/

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Off to Feed the Monster

So... A couple of days ago, I did a post about how a little monster in your head goes crazy if you don't feed him the Valium that is created when you expend creative energy.

I went to bed last night with my head aching, so I peeked inside. Guess what I saw? A red blur with accompanied by banging and and yelling and things crashing, with random things melted and / or glued together left in it's wake.

I yelled over the noise, "What's going on in there?"

My little monster said in a maniacal, crazy, hyper voice, "I NEED MY VALIUM!"

Now, instead of being cute and green with a hint of mischievousness lying right below the surface, he looks* like this --->

I think I better work on making him better today.

Since I'm not offering anything of any substance today, I thought I'd offer you this, JUST BECAUSE IT LOOKS COOL.

Have a great day, everyone! I hope you all get a chance to give your monster a little Valium.

*And thanks to my husband who, in anticipation of my needing it, made I NEED MY VALIUM monster. Isn't he the best?
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