Emoticonally Stunted

I like to think that when I come across a word I don't know while reading or in conversation, I

a) Intrinsically know what it means
or
b) Look it up
then
c) Use it myself.

When it comes to emoticons... Not so much. I pretty much only have these at my disposal:

:) to show I'm happy
(or sometimes a :o) for extra emphasis)
:D to show I'm really happy
:( to show I'm sad 
:'( or :') to show that made me shed a tear
;) as a knowing gesture (but honestly, I always wonder if maybe people take this as a "just kidding," thus negating my comment.)

..... AAAAAAAAand that's it. My emoticon vocabulary is seriously stunted. And let's face it. Sometimes you're leaving a comment on someone's blog, and you just need something more than a smile, frown, or a wink. I need an arsenal! Not a plastic bow and rubber arrow!

Are you an emoticon intellectual? Help a girl out?

Or are you as emoticon illiterate as I am?

(And will someone pretty please explain what the letter J means?)
.