Dealing with the badness

If you have a book out, or are one day planning or hoping to have a book out, you know you're going to get some bad reviews, right? We've all just accepted that this comes along with the territory, right? Beth Revis posted on her blog about a week ago one of the most incredible posts I've ever read, and it was about getting bad reviews. It was seriously SO GOOD! If you haven't already seen it, you should really check it out. I repeat: SO GOOD.

Beth Revis: How to Respond to Negative Reviews

Although, I'm not even sure that "respond" is the best way to describe it, because "respond" brings to mind a conversation between author and someone else. But really, it's just about what should go on in the author's head. No matter what stage of the game you're in, this is important stuff to keep in mind.

And the thing is, her post about dealing with negative reviews doesn't just relate to reviews from readers. If you're querying (or querying is in your future), it also relates to agents. If you're on submission (or subbing is in your future), it also relates to editors. The fact is, not everyone is going to be head-over-heels in love with your book! It's just the way it is. And that's totally okay. With the amount of information about agents there is online, it's still pretty hard to predict if your story is going to be something a particular agent fall in love with. Heck, even with your best friend, you sometimes suggest a book you think they'll love that they end up not loving, right? It's the exact same for agents when they're submitting to editors.

My point? Getting rejections (whether it's from readers, agents, or editors) is OKAY. It's completely normal. And it DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOUR BOOK IS BAD. It means you haven't found the perfect match yet. Like Beth says, people are just different. (And really. Go read that post if you haven't. It's presented in such a great way. And funny. Did I mention funny?)

Do you handle (or think you'll handle) negative reviews well?

X is for X out criticism

"To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing."

~ Elbert Hubbard

Yes! We can avoid criticism!

All we have to do is be nothing.

:o|

So... If we want to be SOMETHING, we have to accept that there will be criticism.

And the bigger something we want to be, the more criticism we'll have to accept.

That's kind of the name of this game we're in, right? We write because we want our words read! Bring on the low ratings! We want our words read by a lot of people! Bring it on even more! Heck, we want the WHOLE WORLD to read our words! And more criticism!!

Of course there's the good stuff that comes all along the way, too! Eases the sting. But there will always be those bits of criticism that sting more than even the good stuff can temper. Those are the ones we really have to talk ourselves into being okay accepting.

So have you? Have you convinced yourself that you're okay accepting whatever amount of criticism that's going to come with wherever it is that you have your sights set?

I guess that's just one of the steps on our journey we have to take. Er... KEEP taking.

Here-- have a cookie! It helps. ;0)

Photo credit and recipe link from Furey and the Feast

Have a great Friday!

N is for Never, Never, Never Compare

Why is it so bad to compare ourselves to other writers? Compare our books to other books?

Because quite often, we compare our WEAKNESSES to other people's STRENGTHS. (Or, the equally consequential method of comparing our strengths to others' weaknesses.)

Not only does it make us feel like crap (or in the opposite case, make us feel like everyone else is crap), but it STOPS US FROM GETTING BETTER.

No book is perfect. Let's just go ahead and get that out there. Those books you rate a 5 on Goodreads-- the authors just did the same things we're trying to do. Make our weaknesses not be negatives, and make our strengths shine to their fullest potential.

If we read a book and think, Holy wow! This author is SO GOOD at [fill in the blank], there is NO WAY I will ever be this good! I might as well stop right now. Well, um, yeah. They're amazing at [fill in the blank]. That's their strength. Does that mean we should stop? NO! That strength of theirs might not be our strength. In fact, it might be our greatest weaknesses. But did we notice the things they weren't so strong at? Maybe not, because we were so blown away by the thing they WERE good at, but those weaknesses were still there. No author has strengths in everything. But do you know what? YOUR BOOK CAN BE THAT SAME WAY. You'll just have a different strength that shines. A different thing that will blow others away.

But that bad feeling we get when we look at a strength of theirs that we don't possess, only has the power to discourage. And when we're discouraged, we turn off all ability to improve. Just say to yourself, I am comparing my weakness to their strength. It helps you put things in perspective! Then you can think, A master is at work here. If I pay attention to how they did things, then my weakness will become less of a weakness.

And by the same token, if we read a book where the author's weakness is our greatest strength, that critical Oh, my gosh. This got published?! feeling carries the same power. Yes, it got published because of the author's strength. If we spend the whole time noticing all the deficiencies in that area where we rock, we can totally miss out on learning from that area where they rock. Comparing our greatest strength to their greatest weakness has just as great a power to keep us from learning as does the opposite.

And that's what it's really all about, right? Getting better. Improving every day. Making our greatest weaknesses stronger, making our greatest strengths shine all the more, and making everything in the middle the best it can be.

And that's never going to happen if we compare.



Much gratitude to inluvwithwords at Out on a Limb for passing along the Sunshine Award to me. Thank you!

Quotes and Cookies: Impossible to Discourage

"It is impossible to discourage the real writers - they don't give a damn what you say, they're going to write."

~Sinclair Lewis

I like this quote, because I'm in love with the thought of being impervious to discouragement.

BUT

It doesn't totally ring true to me. I like to think of myself as a real writer. But that doesn't mean I'm never going to get discouraged. (I'm not alone in this, right?) The point is, we get past it. In the end, the writing means enough that it doesn't matter what naysayers say! We get over discouragement. We don't let it KEEP us down.

Okay, so maybe one shouldn't mess with a deceased man's quote. But I'm going to anyway, and hope it isn't as offensive as doing a jig on his grave. (If it is, I really apologize, Mr. Lewis. I'll bring flowers to your grave next time I'm near Greenwood Cemetery. And I swear I won't so much as step a foot on your grave.) I think it should say something like "It's impossible for a real writer to STAY discouraged - they don't give a damn what you say, they're going to write."

So let's raise a cookie and toast to not staying discouraged! (And what says "Discouragement not allowed" better than good ole chocolate chip cookies?)

Photo Credit for Donna's Gourmet Cookies

Have an incredibly fabulous weekend, everyone!

Mojo Hide and Seek

I spent a good deal of last year editing and revising and NOT DRAFTING. Editing so intensely that I couldn't even read a book without scrutinizing every sentence. Analyzing every choice. Evaluating every bit of thought and dialogue. It was early September; I had just gotten ready to query TTBB, and I was about to start writing my next novel. But as far as taking a plot in my head and figuring out how to start and what to reveal in the opening and how to order a scene or multiple scenes and how to develop a character, I was at a loss.

I didn't remember how I got the knowledge to do those things in the other books I wrote, but wherever it came from... it was lost. I couldn't remember how to combine all those elements into a story.

I texted my sister, "I forgot how to write!"

She texted back, "It's just like riding a bike, right?"

I replied, "I may remember how to pedal the bike, but I can’t remember how to steer. I keep crashing into bushes and my legs are all scratched up. So is my bike. And the bushes. And if I’m being honest, the sidewalk. And that poor kid walking on it."

I find it oddly comforting to know that everyone crashes now and again.

But just because your mojo goes into hiding, doesn't mean it can't be found. Even if it's hiding REALLY WELL.

Peggy's Guide to Getting Your Mojo Back

Write total crap. 

Somehow convince yourself that you aren't trying to get this first draft as shiny as that manuscript you've taken through a million revisions. All that matters is that you continue.

No matter how much those words stink, power through it. Keep writing even if every single bit of it comes out crap. Keep writing even though it gets really really hard and all you want to do is stop, throw the laptop out the window, walk away, decide you are done, quit. Because do you know what that means? That you're about to the crest of that incredibly high mountain! You're almost there! And, well, yeah... It will get harder before it gets easier. And you'll have to push a little harder even when you think there is absolutely no strength left in you to give. But you'll crest that mountain.

And then from there... Oh my gosh, from THERE, you hit the downhill part. The part where you start going so fast, you don't think you can ever stop. Possibly not even to sleep. (And then as long as you mind the occasional rock, tree, ditch, river, or crevice, you've got it made. :))

Have you ever lost your mojo? (I'm not the only one who had to play hide-and-seek with my mojo, right?) How did you get it back?

I've Got a Theory: Brain Dudes. Illustrated.

So you know that belief that we only use a portion of our brains? Do you ever wonder why the heck we have brains so large if we don't even use all of them?

I have a theory about that.

Spread out in those unused parts of your brain are miles of corridors. All curvy, of course, because that's just how brains are. And down those corridors are door after door of living quarters for brain dudes. (Don't believe me? Go into those parts of your brain you've never been in before, and you'll see.)

For the most part, the brain dudes live there peacefully. But sometimes they get restless, staring at gray walls and gray matter all day long. Sometimes the monotony gets to them. And, well... Some of them are bad. First the bad ones throw trash in the hallways and before you know it, they're ripping doors off their hinges and banging on the walls. (That's where headaches come from.)

Then there's this one dude. He's extremely charismatic and buff and well.... evil. He riles up all the bad brain dudes and feeds them propaganda for breakfast. He tells them they're in prison! And they shouldn't have to put up with that! They should be able to roam free throughout ALL of the brain, not forced to stay in the unused parts!

And the bad brain dudes are all like "Yeah, we should!"

So the evil leader leads them into battle, and they fight their way into the parts of the brain that you DO use, and THEY ATTACK.

You're all like, "AAAAAAAAAA!!" Because let's face it-- those guys are scary! They've got weapons, angry facial expressions, and a big ole flag they keep waving around like they're trying to spread discouragement and despair throughout your brain with it.

And it works. Those guys really know what they're doing. And they somehow seem to know EXACTLY when to attack. They know when you're most vulnerable.

But do you know what? Those scary dudes aren't the only ones living in those corridors. Miles of them, remember? There are other dudes. Stalwart ones. Brave ones. And they are at the ready anytime you need them. All you have to do is ask.

That is it. You ask, and they show up, flying the banner of Hope and Perseverance. You think the Despair and Discouragement guys are scary? Think of how scary it is to them to see the numberless army backing YOU.

(And when your numberless army shows up, they bang those spears on the ground in unison and rhythmically. To you, it goes in time to your heartbeat, making you feel invincible. (Plus it sounds cool.) To them, it's a deafening battle cry that makes them cower under their skinny little stick arms.)

Sometimes, though, when Despair and Discouragement shows up, it can petrify you. Sometimes it takes a family member, friend, or complete stranger to summon them for you. BUT THE UNBEATABLE ARMY OF HOPE AND PERSEVERANCE ARE THERE, AND THEY WILL COME.

Always.

You know... As long as you don't forget they're there, hanging out in the living quarters of the unused portions of your brain.



P.S. I know that most people will tell you that the we-only-use-part-of-our-brain theory is bunk, but I don't want to hear it because it doesn't support MY theory. And like the sign hanging in my dad's office says, "If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts."