The Way We Are: What we're willing to sacrifice

[First, to those who have given me blog awards-- I haven't forgotten! Early next week, I promise. And thank you again!]

Anytime you take on an endeavor as time consuming as writing is, you're going to have to sacrifice things, right? I doubt any of us were just sitting around for hours every day with nothing to do before we started writing. (And if you were, I guess you decided to sacrifice doing nothing then, right?)

So my big The Way We Are question today is, What is it you sacrifice for writing?

My answer:
Sleep, definitely.
TV, unless it's after the kids are in bed and also counts as time spent with hubby.
Playing games, unless it's with my family-- then it's family time, not wasting time.
House cleaning, yard work, laundry, grocery shopping, and cooking, but not too often.
And let's face it-- reading time. I'd definitely read more if I weren't writing. Sad.

The two things I sacrifice that are the hardest:
Being on top of everything and feeling like I have everything under control.
Creative energy to spend on anything other than writing.

Do I miss those things I sacrifice? Heck yes!
Would I give up writing for them? Heck no!

So what do you sacrifice?

I've Got a Theory: The glass is half full

As fabulous and awesome as the writing life is, it's not always full of rainbows and lollipops.

Maybe our critique group didn't like our latest chapter... An agent sent a rejection... A reader gave a bad review... A scene just isn't working out... Edits getting you down... Having a bad day of writing...

I have a theory, though, that says that No matter how bad things seem, you can ALWAYS find the good in it.

Allow me to illustrate with a funny story. My then eight year old daughter and I were getting the Christmas tree ready to decorate a couple of Christmases ago. I was stringing the lights, and she was checking each strand to make sure the lights all worked. One set was not as bright as the others, so I set it aside. I hoped not to use it, but as I got closer to the end, it became obvious that I'd have to if I wanted to cover the whole tree. I sighed and picked up the dim set.

My little girl: "It's okay. Using dull lights is better than using no lights at all. Just like having a dead cat is better than having no cat at all."

Me: "WHAT?! I'm pretty sure I'd rather have no cat than have a dead cat."

My daughter: "But you can still pet a dead cat."

No, I wasn't speechless. I don't think you can call gut-injuring laughter "speechless." When I gained my breath and my composure, I praised her for her astonishing ability to, once again, find the good in anything.

In my family, we no longer use the expressions "every cloud has a silver lining" or "glass half-full." We use "A dead cat is better than no cat at all." My daughter asked if she was ever going to live that down. The answer is no.

But do you know what? She was totally right. You can find the good in EVERY SINGLE SITUATION. Even the really crappy ones. Those people that are always happy? I'm convinced it's because they are experts at finding and focusing on the good in any situation. It's not magic. Anyone can do it.

Your critique group didn't like your chapter? Now you know what to change. And it's way better to know now instead of ten revisions later when you really couldn't stand to change something that big.

An agent sent you a rejection? Now you are one agent closer to finding your dream agent.

Got a bad review from a reader? Maybe. But how many GOOD reviews did you get? And any publicity is good publicity, right? And then of course, whatever doesn't kill you will make you stronger. :)

Scene not working out? Then you get to have that awesome scene spending more time living in your head than you would've gotten otherwise.

Edits getting you down? It'll make finishing all the sweeter.

Having a bad day writing? Well, I think we can all agree that...

A bad day writing is better than a day of no writing at all.

Shooting at Targets

You know, the thing about writing is that it always feels like you are behind on everything. You should've already gotten through that first draft. You should have already finished editing. You should've already read a million more books and blogs.

And that's not even counting all the REGULAR LIFE stuff you have to do. It can kind of feel like there are a million things you need to do, and you can't even figure out which one is most important to work on, right?

Sigh. And it gives you grief.

I was driving down the street, stressing about the aforementioned malady when something brilliant came to mind. My mom hangs frames on their bathroom wall with great quotes or pictures, and every so often she changes the quotes. Suddenly, as a gift from above, one of the quotes came to mind.

“Nothing can add more power to your life
than concentrating all of your energies
on a limited set of targets.”
~Nido Qubein

Well, duh. Now that you mention it, it makes all kinds of sense.

If you have a circle of 50 targets around you and you’ve got 50 arrows in your quiver, then you can shoot one arrow at each target. Sure, you’re probably going to get a bull’s eye every now and then. And you might hit the rings on twenty or so more. But there’ll be a lot you don’t even hit.

And here’s the kicker— the ones you don't hit could be the most important targets.




But if you shoot all 50 arrows at ONE TARGET, you’re going to get a few bull’s eyes. And a couple dozen or so in the other rings. And of course, you’ll miss the target quite a few times. But you’ll get bull’s eyes! And hit tons of other places that give points! Your target is going to be full of arrows!!


When you have that one target that you’ve been aiming at, and it’s filled with tons of arrows, IT FEELS REALLY GOOD.

And when you have a whole mess of targets with no arrows, it kinda makes you feel like you really suck at... Okay, we’ll say archery.

So I decided to make a gigantic bon fire and huck most of my targets into it, leaving only a the most important ones to aim at. (Of course, unless you're talking ONLY writing, you're not likely to whittle it down to just one target.)(And okay, I didn’t actually burn the others targets, because I really like most of those other targets! I’d like to shoot some arrows at them again sometime. So, I mostly just stood them on end in a neat little row with a label on the side so I could find each one at a moment’s notice.)

But holy cow, does it feel good to have less targets to aim at!

I’m talkin’ REALLY good.

So I say, chuck some of those targets you’ve been aiming at!

I think you’ll like it.

I mean REALLY like it.



P.S.  I was interviewed by ever fabulous Cristina at Once Upon a Time.... Go check it out! :)

Quotes and Cookies: Get it Written

“Don't get it right, just get it written” 

~James Thurber

I don't know about you guys, but I need that taped to my computer screen. REVISING IS FOR LATER. Trying to get it right the first time siphons creative energy. Right can give you writer's block. (Maybe it should be renamed to Righter's Block!)

Give that demanding inner editor the boot and just get it written! (But maybe give him/her a cookie before you kick them out.)

http://www.browneyedbaker.com/2009/06/30/no-bake-chocolate-peanut-butter-oatmeal-cookies/

I died once.

When I was a kid, we discovered THE MOST ANNOYING THING. Repeating the same thing over and over and over. Then I came across a little ditty that was annoyance GOLD. I said this puppy over and over so many times! It was awesome. (Feel free to teach it to any kids you know.)

I'm going to show it to you in drawings, because drawing make things more fun, right?

Now imagine that repeated over and over. AWESOME, right? It totally was! Well... if you were the one saying it. Not so much if you were the one hearing it.

Repetition can be a great thing in a book. Like when it reinforces the theme or when you repeat a phrase to add emphasis.

But repetition can also be a really bad thing in a book. There's lots of repetition we have to look out for.

Like repeating those pet phrases we each have. Or pet words. Or pet body language or actions (raising eyebrows, shrugging, sighing, etc.).

On a paragraph or page level, having two sentences that say essentially the same thing.

Character types. When multiple characters share the same personality traits, appearance, quirks, likes and dislikes, the characters can feel flat, even if they are well developed.

Repeating conflict. I read a book recently that had conflict on every single page! It was great... except that each conflict was the same conflict. The MC got captured, then he'd find a way to escape. He'd gain a little ground, get a little closer to his goal, and get captured by someone else. He'd find a way to escape... and you get the picture.

When you explain too much. This SO EASY to do on a first draft! You want to make sure you convey everything. Make sure the reader REALLY GETS what is happening, and that's totally fine. But in revisions, remember to trust the reader. You're a reader. You know how we are. We're pretty good at picking up things, even when they are more subtle.

Repeating emotion. I read a book a year or two ago that people generally loved. There was a lot of the book that I loved, too, but there was something that kept it from being fabulous. A single emotion permeated the entire book. Everything was seen through the eyes of that ONE emotion. We never got a reprieve, and by the end, I was exhausted.

So as fun as it is to annoy your siblings when you're a kid, it's a good thing to never annoy your reader through repetition. Do you have a repetition pet peeve that drives you crazy whenever you see it? Do you have any you find yourself doing often?

Now go teach my little ditty to any kids you are frequently around. Come on. It'll be AWESOME.

The Way We Are: How many people read your manuscript?

I'm just guessing here, but I'll bet we all have different approaches when it comes to getting critiques. Maybe you have a critique partner that is so awesome, you don't feel the need to pass on your manuscript to anyone else.

Maybe you have a group of writer friends that you send your manuscript to, either all at once, or one at a time, making changes after each set.

Or maybe you send it to some writers and then to some family members.

Maybe you even send it onto a group of friends who aren't writers, but who are invested in you, and therefore want to read everything you write.

Or maybe you even go for a bigger group of readers.

The point is, no matter where you are in the writing line-- writing to leave something behind for grandkids, writing to self-publish, looking for an agent, on sub to publishers, have an agent and an editor working to publish your first book, have several books out.... You usually go to others

for critiques to catch things that could embarrass you later.

Maybe you just like people reading your book. I get that.

When we're "done," we might all send it different places-- to the printer, to sit on a hard drive while querying agents, or to your agent or editor. The point is, there's a time we call it "done," but we keep our fingers crossed that we aren't REALLY done.

So, here's my question:

How many people do you ask to read your manuscript before you call it "done?"

Here's my answer. For the book I'm getting ready to query, I sent it chapter by chapter each week to my writing group. So +3. I also sent it to my husband and my parents at the same time. +3. At revision three, I couldn't stand waiting any longer to read it to my kids, so +3 more. At revision seven, I sent it to my sister, a friend, and a writer friend.

+3. Revision eight I printed out seven copies and gave to friends / family. Some read it with their kids. I have no idea how many people got that version. Somewhere around +15. Then a teacher I work with read it as a read-aloud to her fourth graders. (Which, btw, coolest experience ever. I even got to be in the room, working with kids one on one while she read. Talk about a fantastic way to spot problems! Especially with someone else's voice doing the reading.) Then I sent revision nine to +3 writer friends. All in all, somewhere around 30, plus a class full of kids. So.. um... apparently a crazy amount of people.

Hmm. After all that, I suddenly went from being curious about everyone's numbers to hoping that someone else sends their book to a crazy amount of people, just to make me feel more normal.

Or maybe your numbers will make someone else feel normal. I'm okay with that, too.

I've Got a Theory: You can fire your inner editor

Inner editors. We've all got them. They're helpful, I suppose. Without them, revisions might be overwhelming. Some, though, can be decidedly less helpful. When they're too strong, drafting can be overwhelming. The best kind of inner editor leaves you alone most of the time until you are ready for their services.

Well, what if you have a terrible inner editor? One that just really isn't working out for you? I've got a theory about what you can do.

Inner editors can be fired. And you can hire one that better suits you.

It's true! I started out with Miss Stakeless. She was around for my first book. She walked around in my head while I wrote, ruler in hand, ready to rap my knuckles.

She demanded I used correct punctuation.
She demanded I used correct spelling.
She demanded I used correct grammar.
She demanded I didn't use words that end in "ing" or "ly."
She demanded I varied my sentence structure.
She demanded I didn't use the same words too close to one another.

She said if I took it slow and got it right the first time, I'd be happier later. "Slow but steady wins the race," she said WAY too often.

I was afraid of her, so I listened and I did what she said. My knuckles are pansies.

The whole time, though, I had my eyes on this guy:

His name is Doodle, but he prefers to be called Dood. (Heavy on the "oo.") Sure, he's a punk. And sure, he needs to pull up his shorts a bit. And after a while, that surfer lingo might get a little old.

But he's a genius.

And I've heard he'd be quite content to surf while I type, and only get picky about the editing when I was good and ready to edit. Plus, cartoon Inner Editors just seem so much more... fun. So, I called Dood on his cell phone and asked if he wanted the job.

He was in Australia, shredding some serious waves. He said he was unwilling to leave such perfect crests, but more importantly, I wasn't ready for him as an inner editor yet. (Whatever, Dood.)

For someone who seems so one track minded, he can be surprisingly astute. And he did recommend someone else to do the job. I am happy to report that I hired her.

She was an Editing Magician, or E.M., but she liked it when I called her "Auntie Em."

We got along great! I gave her free roam of the brain kitchens, and she baked cookies while I wrote. My brain likes working to the smell of cookies. While I wrote a first draft, she only stopped by to tell me that I used a passive voice, or that I hadn't varied my sentence structure enough every 9 to 11 minutes, instead of constantly like Miss Stakeless did.

I loved her. I loved her cookies. I loved her smiling face. I hope she liked living in my brain. I gave her a room with lots of windows where there was always sunshiny days. There were big, comfy chairs and lots of yarn for knitting. I even placed her in the part of my brain furthest from my imagination, so she could go for an evening stroll and not worry about bad guys or monsters suddenly appearing on the paths through my brain.

Then one day, I got a call. Dood said that I was finally ready to have him as my inner editor! I didn't exactly fire Auntie Em as convince her that someone else needed her services even more than I did. (But I also managed to convince her that I still need the cookies the most, and that my brain kitchens were always open to her. Every once in a while she still stops by to bake a batch.)

So there you go. Proof that you can fire your inner editor and get a new one if the one you've got isn't quite working out for you.

Happy Labor Day!

Happy Labor Day, everyone! Whether on this Labor Day your labors are writing-related, friends & family-related, yardwork-related, project-related, housekeeping-related, or rest-from-your-labors-related, I hope you have a wonderful day!

Quotes and Cookies: Make the Most

There will never be another now -
I'll make the most of today.
There will never be another me -
I'll make the most of myself.

~Helen Keller

I think Helen Keller is one of the most amazing people who have ever lived, and I love this quote. It totally and completely works with writing, and it totally and completely works with every aspect of your life. It's a good reminder that this time we have on earth is precious. And so are we. We need to make the most of both.


And while we're thinking about how to make the most out of what we've got, have a cookie!

These were made and photographed by the extraordinary writer / blogger

Leigh Ann Kopans. Thanks, Leigh Ann!

And speaking of uberly-cool people, Carrie Butler is one of them. I entered into a giveaway on her blog, and my mad rule-following skills helped me to win! (And, uh... I guess that makes it a "contest," then, right, Carrie?) Anyway, the prize was a blog button. Check out her mad skills! (My favorite part is the sprinkles on my cookie name.:)) And go check out So You're a Writer to see the spoils from the other winners.

I could finally SEE

[You guys KILLED me yesterday in the comments! You're all freakin hilarious! (Yes, I'm especially looking at you, Michael Offutt.) Seriously, I LOVED reading everyone's comments. It's amazing to see all the ways we are similar and all the ways we're different. I love you guys! Now onto the post:]

Like a million other people, without glasses or contacts, I am legally blind (that basically means you can't see the big E on eye charts).

UNlike millions of people, I was the only one in my family of eight with bad eyesight. I actually didn't even know I had bad eyesight until I was in the third grade and someone told me! (Unlike my son who told me his eyes were "broken" when he was three.)

My teacher led us down to the lunchroom at the beginning of the year for the annual vision screening. I was bored waiting in line because, like everyone else in the lines, we'd passed this test so many times before. When it was my turn, I stepped up to the line with all the confidence of someone taking a test where all they had to do was point three of their fingers in the direction the letter E was turned. (I know! By third grade, you'd think they'd have let us graduate to the eye charts that showed actual letters.)

I wasn't worried at all. I could see just fine. Everything I needed to see was RIGHT THERE. Sure, I might have to be close to things, but didn't everyone?

I stared at the chart, dumbfounded. I couldn't make out any of the letters on the line she pointed at! After a moment of silence, she pointed to the line above it, and asked if I could read that line. I tried my best. I guessed at the answers. I must not have guessed very well, because she moved up a line. After I finished with that one, she asked me to come with her, and put me by myself in front of the stage. My whole class stared at me, knowing I had failed my test. They left to go back to the class, the school nurse re-tested me, then informed me that I need to let my mom know I needed glasses.

I was so blindsided by it, I took a detour to the bathroom on my way back to my classroom and cried.

But THEN, a couple weeks later, I got my new glasses. On the car drive home, I stared at my surroundings in amazement. I could see the rocks in the asphalt! I could see trees on the mountains! I could read the signs on the street! And when I got to school the next day, I could see the chalkboard FROM ANYWHERE IN THE ROOM.

It seemed laughable that I'd been reduced to tears weeks earlier when I'd found out. Because now, I COULD SEE! I could finally see!

I think it's the same way with writing. Sometimes you're so close to your story, you don't realize there are problems from a distance. Sometimes you need to take a break from it and walk far away. And then when you're ready to turn back around and take a look at it, you can see if there's a problem with how clear things are. Things you didn't notice when you were so close to it.

So when things just don't feel quite right, don't go into the bathroom and cry. Walk away for a while! When you come back, you'll finally be able to SEE.