I've Got a Theory: What's in a name? LOTS.

My theory is based on another theory. That theory is called the "Theory of Deadly Initials." Maybe you've heard of it. It was published in the Journal of Psychosomatic Research, and said there's a link between the lifespan of human males and their initials. Basically, if your initials are positive (like W.O.W. or A.C.E.), then you'd tend to live 4.8 years longer than people with initials who didn't really spell anything. If your initials were negative (like U.G.H. or D.U.M.), then you'd tend to live 2.8 years less.

You write your initials a LOT over the course of a lifetime. Every time you do, if it's positive, it's kind of a You Are So Cool shot in the arm. If it's negative, it's like a You Stink shot, right?

So here's my theory. You write your last name MUCH MORE than you write your initials! So your last name can have a HUGE impact if it is an actual non-name word, or similar to an actual word.

My maiden name is Wheeler. Is it any coincidence that my dad was a race car driver? That he built hot rods, dune buggies, custom cars and race cars, and fixed wrecked cars as a side job when I was a kid? That my sister manages a car parts store? That three members of my family are in a car show club? That my brother restores classic cars? That nearly every member of my family owns more vehicles than they have licensed drivers? Hmmm....

And that's just one example. The one I'm closest to. I'm sure you can think of several others.

So if W.I.N. makes you be more winning, R.A.D. makes you cooler, F.A.B. makes you be more fabulous, D.U.M. makes you feel dumber, O.A.F. makes you feel clumsy, and B.A.D. makes you feel terrible at everything, then what does having a last name that is also a word mean?

How does it influence what you do, or more importantly, HOW PEOPLE VIEW your possibilities, personality, temperament, stability, and a host of other things? If initials make such a difference, than so can having a last name like Hart. Mason. Parker. Woods. Bright. Cross. Twiggs. Feld. Knight. Price. Law. Butcher. Archer. Cook. Young. Stone. Steele. Farmer. King. Singer. Best.

Does it matter? What about that last time you had to pick a doctor? You stare at a list of doctors your insurance covers, knowing nothing about them except for their names and phone numbers. How do you choose? That's right! Their name! (Unless you're researchy and you don't like to go into things blind. Or if you're choosing based on the ease of memorizing their phone number. Both are also entirely valid methods.)

The truth is, it does make a huge difference.

Which means that the names we choose make a huge difference on people's impressions of the characters we write. Choosing a name that doesn't really have connotations isn't a bad thing-- it's more of a neutral thing. But you can choose a name based on its connotations, good or bad, and that can make an incredible difference in people's perceptions of that character.

Choosing a character's last name is pretty incredible. When else in your life do you get to actually choose a last name? Last names can be hugely powerful. We should wield that power well.

How do you choose characters' names? By their connotations, or just by how cool they sound?