Writing Middle Grade: It needs HUMOR!

I taught a presentation at a conference a week ago about writing middle grade. I've had a lot of people ask if I would post some of the information from my presentation here. It's a ton of information, though, so I decided to do a MG Needs feature. Each Monday for the next while, I'll talk about some of the things a MG novel needs to be most satisfying to the reader, and cover all the same stuff that I covered in my presentation. With me? Let's start!

Let’s say you love salty food. When given the choices of food, you always go for the salty ones. Like dumplings with soy sauce. When you sit down for a meal, do you usually only want salty foods on your plate? Or do you like a little variety in your sides and dessert?

photo credit: haleysuzanne via photopin cc

The Chinese have a theory that there are five different elements of flavors— sweet, spicy, bitter, salty, sour. And that if you have each of these five elements in a meal, it will leave you much more satisfied than when ones are missing. Certainly more satisfied than if you have just one element.

photo credit: wEnDaLicious via photopin cc

Books are the same way. A kid might like mystery, for example, but that doesn’t mean he/she wants mystery as the only element in the book. A book will be more satisfying when it has the five elements that kids crave. Your book will likely have one of these five that's more prevalent. But just like everything else— if you get too much of anything, it becomes monotonous. Your book needs a break from the main genre that it is to slip in another element when it’s appropriate to make it more fulfilling.

I'll talk about each of the five--- one each Monday. Today it's...... HUMOR!!

Photo credit: gifbin.com

(Is this dog impressive, or what? He cracks me up every time!)

Scientists say that the fact that we laugh and that we want to laugh does two things: It helps us to bond with people, and to lessen tension and anxiety. Two things that are VERY important in MG fiction. We want our readers to bond with characters (which will in turn help the reader bond with you as the author). And at key points, like right after an intense scene or even during a stressful scene, we want to lessen tension and anxiety.

So let's talk about the kinds of humor kids like. They like:

Malapropisms
(misusing words ridiculously, especially by the confusion of words that are similar in sound).

• “He had to use a fire distinguisher.”
• “Dad says the monster is just a pigment of my imagination.”
• “He's a wolf in cheap clothing.”
• “Don't is a contraption”

Non-sequiturs
(a statement containing an illogical conclusion).

• “Sleeping in a tinfoil suit keeps me warmer and helps prepare me for my voyage to the moon. Would you care for some licorice?” -- Jarod Kintz

Things that are out of place.

The rule of three works particularly well with kids this age.
(Especially when you do it with things that are out of place)

• Paper, pencils, and a penguin

Things that are taboo.
(Which is one of the reasons that books like Captain Underpants are so popular.)

Words with the K or the G sound.
So if you are making up words or names and want to add humor, try to use those sounds in the word, and it will make it inherently more funny.

MG kids don’t usually get written sarcasm.
Some kids, if they don’t grow up with moms like me, might not get it at all. I try to make sure my kids are growing up well-versed in sarcasm, but even kids this age who do grow up with those kinds of advantages ;) don’t usually get written sarcasm.

People like characters with a good sense of humor. So if you want a reader to dislike a certain character, then get rid of their sense of humor. You can take humor away from your bad guy, but that’s not really what I’m saying. For example, Dr. Doofenshmirtz on Phineas and Ferb: he brings a LOT of humor. But we aren’t meant to dislike him. Take humor away from any character that your MC doesn’t like, and that you want the reader to dislike as well. Like the mean kid in school. Or an awful teacher. If you give them a sense of humor, your reader won’t be totally on your MC’s side when they dislike that character.

A book will always be more satisfying when it has some of each of the five elements that kids crave, and next up, we'll cover BEING SCARED! :)

Quotes and Cookies: Of eggs and patience

LOVE this:

“The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it."

~Arnold H. Glasow

Which I'm pretty sure translates into writer-speak that you should edit your book instead of throwing it out the window when it's giving you grief.

And then you can get the book version of this:

photo credit: Roger Smith via photopin cc

Something unique looking with awesome hair that everyone will Ooh! and Ahh! over. And who doesn't want that?

Just be warned that he/she will probably want a cookie. You better take two.

And then set about revising! And NOT throwing your manuscript out the window.

photo credit: scubadive67 via photopin cc

Have an awesome weekend, everyone!



P.S. Thank you so much to Neurotic Workaholic for the Liebster Award! I can guarantee my answers wouldn't be nearly as hilarious as hers were.

P.P.S. I'm at The League of Extraordinary Writers today, talking about using a sense of wonder in speculative fiction. Come hang out! Yes, you can definitely bring your cookie with you.

Storymakers!!

Tomorrow, I'm headed off to one of my very favorite conferences-- LDStorymakers. This is an incredible conference that so many fabulous agents attend every time. (My agent said it's her favorite conference she's ever been to.) And there is nothing like hanging out with hundreds of people who have the same obsessions interests that you do. If you've not been the conference-going type before, I highly recommend starting! It'll change your life. (Imagine me saying that in my most non-cheesy voice.)

Plus, I get to do a presentation! (Okay, so maybe I'm only 50% excited on this part, because the other 50% is filled with nervousness.) But but but! I get to talk about this:

Getting Inside the Head of a Middle Grade Kid. For anyone wishing they could jump into the head of an 8-12 year old to write MG, we’ll talk about the five elements kids crave in an MG novel, what kinds of things are most important to an MG protagonist, how to have your MG characters respond emotionally, and what your main character needs for MG readers to root for them.

And that kind of thrills me.

Especially because in my presentation, I get to use animated gifs. And just because I'm cool like that, here's a bonus one. (Well, that, and because they just make me laugh.)

http://gifs.gifbin.com/122010/tn_1291664377_camouflaged-cat.gif

Have you been to conferences before? If so, which is your favorite? If you're going to Storymakers, let me know! I want to make sure I see you.



Thank you once again to Deanie at Thoughts and Ideas from Deanie Humphrys-Dunne for awarding me the Shine On Award and the Super Sweet Award. Yum!

FRIDAY NIGHT ALIBI cover reveal!

Cassie Mae is a fun and awesome person, and I am thrilled to be a part of her cover reveal for her book that comes out in just 10 weeks! I love the premise of this book, and have heard so many great things about it. Without further ado, here's the brand-spanking-new cover!

FRIDAY NIGHT ALIBI
Written by Cassie Mae
Flirt | On sale July 29

Rising star Cassie Mae introduces New Adult readers to a practical soon-to-be college freshman who seems to have everything—until a special guy shows her what she’s been missing.
 
In the wealthy town of Sundale, Kelli Pinkins has hatched the perfect plan to capitalize on her sweet reputation. For a generous fee, she will be every trust-fund baby’s dream: a Friday-night alibi, the “girlfriend” or “BFF” that parents dream about. With college approaching in the fall, Kelli’s services are in demand more than ever, which means that her social life is nonexistent. But Kelli is A-okay with that. She’s raking in cash for school. Besides, relationships are tricky, and sometimes very messy. She’d rather be at home on Xbox LIVE, anyway. Then the unexpected happens: She meets college stud Chase Maroney.
 
Chase isn’t like the preppy, privileged guys Kelli usually meets in Sundale. For starters, he’s twenty something, always wears black., and he shoots back one-liners as fast as she can dish them out. But Kelli’s attempts to drive Chase away falter when she realizes that he treats her like he really knows her, like he cares about knowing her. When Kelli finally gives in to the delicious kiss she’s been fighting for so long, she faces a tough decision: make Chase a real-life boyfriend and risk her heart . . . or keep her clients and lose her first true love.

Advance praise for Friday Night Alibi

“Totally entertaining with as many swoon-worthy moments as hilarious ones, Friday Night Alibi is a must-read.”—Jolene Perry, co-author of Out of Play

“A fun, funny, and fantastic story, this is one you will read in a day, and pick up to re-read again the next.”—Kelley Lynn, author of Fraction of Stone

Pre-order Friday Night Alibi:

Amazon | Barnes &Noble | Google Play | Random House

Cassie Mae is a nerd to the core from Utah, who likes to write about other nerds who find love. Her angel children and perfect husband fan her and feed her grapes while she clacks away on the keyboard. Then she wakes up from that dream world and manages to get a few words on the computer while the house explodes around her. When she’s not writing, she’s spending time with the youth in her community as a volleyball and basketball coach, or searching the house desperately for chocolate.

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First Pass Pages and News Alert: The hardback isn't dying!

Guess what? This is me, putting my very first First Pass Pages in the mail to send back to my editor. It may seem weird, considering it was edits, but I've been dying for this milestone! It's the first time my edits come looking bookish. With the title page, Library of Congress page, dedication, bio acknowledgements, correct fonts and layout and chapter titles-- everything! It's actually the first time I've read the book in six months, and one of the last times I'll see it before it's printed. It's a little strange to be in the middle of edits on book 2 and writing book 3, to go back to working on book 1. But it was also pretty cool to once again get grounded in what started it all.

Also, word to the wise: if you mail 300 pages and need it to get somewhere in two days, it costs somewhere around $10. If you mail it overnight, it costs somewhere around $45. Plan accordingly.

Not that I meet my deadlines at the very last moment or anything...

And in other news, I read an industry news article in Publisher's Weekly about MG & YA sales, and it had this graph.

People have been saying for the past while that hardcover books are on their way out. That they are going to be a thing of the past before too long. But check it out, peeps! SALES ROSE ON HARDCOVERS last year! And really, in nearly every category! And holy moley. Check out the rise in e-book sales. Incredible! People still want to buy books. And they still want hardcovers. And e-books like crazy. All is right in the world. (And if you don't believe me, stop doing things like watching the news, and come hang out with me in my protective bubble. There's rainbows and lollipops here. And occasionally unicorns.)

And a huge thank you to Deanie at Thoughts and Ideas from Deanie Humphrys-Dunne. She just awarded me the Liebster Award. Thanks, Deanie!

NYC Trip!

I am in love with New York City. I miss it like crazy. If you've never been and you ever get the chance to go, take it!

My hubby and I started out with a trip to the Natural History Museum. Or, as my kids like to call it, "The Night at the Museum" Museum.

Where we got to see things like the most adorable little skellies imaginable.

Okay, I may be just a *little* scared of spiders. They don't even have to be real. Give me any six-legged creature and I'm fine. Give me something with eight legs, and eeuurrrrghh. So, I'm standing there, staring at this wall, trying very hard not to be freaked out that there's some crab-like creature that looks very spider-like and as big as me....

...when my hubby looks up and says, "Uh...." In an "Oh, no-- this is going to freak her out" sort of way. Which immediately makes me crouch, cover my head with my arms and look up. Gosh. This picture so doesn't do this giant squid justice! This baby is like 40 feet long. Big enough that when I looked up, I didn't see the squid body--- all I saw were legs bigger around than my arm, and I screamed. An Imminent-Death-By-Gigantic-Spider-Consumption scream that drew everyone's attention and freaked out every kid (and possibly every adult) around.

Then I realized it was a squid and not a spider (and clearly has ten legs instead of eight), and everything was okay. (At least for me. Some of the kids were still a little rattled.)

We took tons of pictures for our kids, including this of an ancient wall phone that my kids didn't believe actually still existed anywhere in the world. They were awed by the photographic evidence that they aren't extinct.

I loved the Subway. A LOT. Even though there was a disappointing lack of crazy people on it. Seriously? Why so many normal people? I was dying for at least one crazy!

We took it everywhere, even though we were both Subway Newbs. I thought we were getting the hang of it after the first day, until we woke up the second day and headed off toward Random House. Apparently I led us to the wrong Subway entrance on 34th Street, so when we couldn't find the train we needed, we walked in the labyrinth underground for what felt like forever. Eventually, we found what was the right place, but then we thought that Random House was now halfway between where we were and the next subway stop. So we went above ground and started walking.....

And walking faster. And faster. And then hurrying as fast as we could because ohmygosh we were so very wrong and so very far away and even though we left very early, we were going to be very late. (Why it didn't occur to us to hail a cab, I'll never know.)

Oh, and it was the hottest day New York had seen since last fall.

We finally arrived at our destination (late, but excited, smelling like the street, with sweat on my back) and stared up at the beautiful building. (Seriously-- is this not so very pretty?)

Yes, I stood in front of the building and took a picture, while I'm sure the guy inside grinned and thought, "Another Newbie Author's first time here." I didn't even care. IT'S MY FIRST TIME AT RANDOM HOUSE!!

I walked into the lobby in reverenced awe. The lobby is lined with their books. In 5 months or so, mine will be there amongst them. Surreal? You betcha.

The guy behind this desk led us up to the 8th floor to meet my editor, Shana, who is just as beautiful and amazing and kind in person. She hugged me, and all I could think was I SMELL LIKE THE STREET! AND MY BACK IS STILL SWEATY! She probably thinks I'm not okay with hugs by how quickly I pulled away.

But then she gave me two ARCs (and I almost started crying, right there in her office, at seeing my book in book form for the first time), and took me around to meet people. First was my publicist Paul. He is incredible. And I found out that my teacher from a few years ago, Brandon Sanderson, and I share the same publicist! James Dashner, too! Then I met the school and library marketing people, the copy chief, the President of RHCB, the art director, and the marketing folks. I was blown away by how kind and enthusiastic everyone was. I love them all to pieces.

Then I my hubby and I went out to lunch with my editor and the art director, where she told me all about the awesome treatments they're doing on my cover. It was so much fun, I totally forgot to take pictures!

That just means I get to go back again soon, right? ;)

Now let's look at the pretty building again, shall we?

This is me, in the subway, still giddy at holding my ARC.

Then we went on the Staten Island Ferry.

And to the memorial at Ground Zero.

And the next day, to Bobby Flay's restuarant, Bar Americain, with my lovely agent Sara where we got to hear some of the funniest query stories ever. I think this was possibly the thing my kids were most excited about us getting to see. My daughter was dreaming about me running into Bobby and getting his autograph for her for DAYS.

I didn't run into Bobby, but I did get a picture of my dessert! And yes, it was every bit as tasty as it looks.

Then we took a Pedi-Cab on a tour through Central Park where we got to see a wedding under the bridge....

And this fountain. And the homeless man bathing in it.

And as we walked the streets of NY for hours, we saw things like F.A.O. Schwartz....

... where they have Hot Tamales bigger than my laptop!

Then we went here...

....and got to see this. :) :) :) :) :)

And decided that 5 days (two of them travel days) wasn't nearly enough time to spend in a place with so much to see.

Then we took one last ride on the subway-- to the airport. About halfway there, a man entered our car, and started chanting sermon-like. Between his strong accent and the subway noises, I couldn't understand what he was saying at all. Either he was selling drugs that would make you "sleep forever," or saying that homeless people shouldn't be hungry. It was unclear. Another man in the car didn't like the man's loud chanting, so to counter it, he started singing at the top of his lungs "DOE, A DEER, A FEMALE DEER..." The man was unfazed by the competition, so the other man kept getting louder and louder until the song was over and he was just yelling, "LALALALALALALALALALA!"

Crazy subway riders at last. I could've died of happiness.

Book deal for my CP

So I have this amazing critique partner, Jessie Humphries, who wrote an incredible book. Not only did she write a book that was amazing, but she EDITED IT like editing was an extreme sport. I have never seen-- or even heard-- of anyone working as hard as she did on making a book as fabulous as possible before they got a book deal. I thought I was insane in my pre- submitting to editors edits, but Jessie blew me out of the water like nobody's business. This girl went to unbelievable lengths on her book, and it paid off big time.

Her publisher had been scouring through submissions for many months to find the perfect one to launch a new, unique, groundbreaking line, and found the perfect book in Jessie's submission, and snatched it up in a heartbeat.

And because her book was perfected before even going on sub (I'm talking perfected in a way that blew away her agent. In a way that her editor said he's never witnessed before), it's coming out in a mind-blowing TWO MONTHS FROM NOW!

The power of revisions.

So go congratulate her! The girl is an incredible example of what to do so editors can't bear to tell you no.

Jessie Humphries' book deal announcement

Quotes and Cookies: My new favorite quote on critiques

New York was INCREDIBLE! So. Very. Incredible. I am still lagging way behind in the game of catch-up, and haven't even gotten a chance to look at my pictures yet, but I will do a post on it soon.

I recently ran across a quote that I think is brilliant! For a long time, I've heard (and totally believe in) two different pieces of advice that I've had a hard time reconciling.

The first piece of advice is that you need to have a good (and very strong) sense of your book, so when critiquers suggest you do different things, you know which voices to listen to. If you don't, your book will head a million different directions, trying to please everyone, and it'll end up worse than when you started.

I totally believe in this.

The second I'm not sure if I've ever heard, or if it's just the way I feel. Whenever I hear about an issue from a critique partner, I figure that person represents a slice of the bigger pie that will one day be my readers. If I don't find a way to address that issue, then all the people that critique partner represents will have the same issue.

I totally believe in this, too.

Yet they seem to be at odds with each other.

Then I ran across a quote from Neil Gaiman that explains why those two can both be true, and coexist. Are you ready? Here it is:

"Remember: when people tell you something’s wrong or doesn’t work for them, they are almost always right. When they tell you exactly what they think is wrong and how to fix it, they are almost always wrong."

~Neil Gaiman

I had never heard this quote before, which surprises me. The thing is pure gold! There's a big difference between a critique partner bringing an issue to your attention, and them telling you how to fix it. (Which explains why you sometimes really bristle at a suggestion.) And of course, asking a critique partner to brainstorm ways in which the issue could be fixed is something else entirely, and can be so so so helpful.

Now that we've had such a breakthrough, let's skip the cookies and go straight for the donuts, shall we?

Thank you, Shutterstock.com!

Have a fabulous weekend, everyone!!

NYC, here I come!

Ohmygosh, you guys. In just a few days time, I'm going to be here:

photo credit: EJP Photo via photopin cc

My hubby and I decided that for our anniversary, we're going to go to New York. Times Square, specifically. It's been forever since we've gone on a vacation sans kids! They are old enough that they are easy to take, and I hate going places and just wishing they were there to see everything too, you know? Plus, they're awesome, and I'd miss them. BUT, I am very excited to go on this trip just with my husband! I'm excited for him to meet my agent, and I'm excited for us to both meet my editor and her assistant, my publicist (holy frijoles! by this time next week, I'll have a publicist!), my marketing team, the art director, and possibly even the publisher. Plus, I'll get to tour the Random House building. And we're going to see as many of the sites as two people can possibly see in 5 days' time. I'm so happy/anxious/thrilled/nervous/ecstatic I can't stand it!

Have you ever been to NYC? Are you dying to go there as much as I am? If you've been before, what should I make sure that I don't miss?

The Most Important Book Ever – I had Trouble in Getting to Solla Sollew

Hi, everyone! This is Liz Coley. She's in the Lucky 13s with me, and she is made of awesome. Her book, PRETTY GIRL-13 just came out, and sounds so creepily fascinating! She's here with us today, talking about the most important books in her life. I love that this one is a Dr. Suess one. :) Take it away, Liz!

After Hop on Pop, the next most important book ever  in my life was also by Dr. Seuss. I had Trouble in Getting to Solla Sollew is the perfect story. There’s a  brilliant beginning, a middle fraught with rising  conflict, and a bittersweet, empowering life lesson  and personal growth at the end. Perfect.

In the beginning: “I was real happy and carefree and young and I lived in a place called the Valley of Vung, where nothing, not anything ever went wrong. Until….” In a mere twenty-seven words, we have a vividly drawn protagonist, a setting, and a situation on the brink of change.

In the middle, the poor protagonist suffers a stubbed toe. First solution? Watch where you are going. Then he’s bitten from behind. Second solution? Aim eyeballs in different directions. Vowing vigilance ahead and behind, he is attacked from above and below. Now he’s in a real quandary because he only has two eyes. What’s a lad to do? He sets off on a journey to find a new and safer place he’s heard of—“the City of Solla Sollew on the Banks of the beautiful River Wah-Hoo, where they never have troubles! At least, very few.” This classical hero’s quest takes him through terrible trials in which, just as hope is in sight, something else goes horribly wrong repeatedly. The final insult, the ultimate crisis, is the single trouble with Solla Sollew: the door to almost-paradise is locked, barred by a key-slapping slippard.

At the end, the moment of truth, the hero learns of a more distant Utopia, “the city of Boola Boo Ball on the banks of the beautiful River Woo-Wall, where they never have troubles! No troubles at all!” He’s wary; he’s been let down by so many promises along the way. Can he flee trouble one more time, just a little farther, for a promise? No, he decides. Something in him has changed. After facing Poozers and billions of birds and a flubulous flood and a camel with gleeks, he has outgrown his innocence. He wasn’t passive to begin with, but now he’s stronger and wiser, and he picks up a weapon and heads home.

The twenty-word resolution: “I’ve bought a big bat. I’m all ready, you see. Now my troubles are going to have trouble with me.”

I can’t even convey how much I loved this story, how many times I read it until it was memorized, and how much I still love it today. I think it is Seuss’s crowning glory.

About Pretty Girl-13:

When thirteen-year-old Angela Gracie Chapman looks in the mirror, someone else looks back–a thin, pale stranger, a sixteen-year-old with haunted eyes. Angie has no memory of the past three years, years in which she was lost to the authorities, lost to her family and friends, lost even to herself.  Where has she been, who has been living her life, and what is hiding behind the terrible blankness? There are secrets you can’t even tell yourself.

Available in ten languages on five continents

About Liz:

Liz lives in Cincinnati, Ohio with her husband, her teenaged daughter, a snoring dog, and a limping old cat. When she's not involved in writing-related activities, she can be found sewing, baking, shooting photos, playing tennis, and singing.

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